Paris, France at night
Written by:Apple Languages
Date posted:November 28, 2014
Posted in:Home / Locations / France / An insider’s guide to the French

An insider’s guide to the French

1st France1For a better understanding of the French, this post is a must read if you’re planning on studying French, taking a language course in France or simply stopping by the most visited country in the world!

Here are three things you should  know before meeting us ‘froggies’.

1. Speak French first
We are known for thinking that their language is the most beautiful language in the whole wide world, and that is why most of us did not really pay attention in English classes (or any other foreign language classes for that matter). Well, this is not completely wrong, but it means that if you take a language course in France, you’ll have plenty of opportunity to practice your French with locals! And trust me, they will be incredibly proud and grateful to see a foreigner speaking the language of Molière, making an effort to speak their language!

France2Believe me, I know that speaking a foreign language with native speakers can be intimidating. French is not your mother tongue, it is ok to make mistakes and it’s the only way you can improve! As they say, practice makes perfect. French people know that and will often try to articulate very clearly (and probably loudly too) to help you understand everything. Your endeavours will soon pay off and you will be able to chat with locals in no time at all. And in France, it is very common to invite your friends to come to your place, even if you’ve just met them, so you’ll meet loads of locals during your stay.
What’s more, the French take great pride in their history and their culture. You will very often find that we are passionate about it and eager to share it with anyone genuinely interested, and before you know it, you’ll be a real history buff and know everything from Charlemagne to Charles de Gaulle!

 

2. Etiquette is the key
It is often said that French people are rude and arrogant. Being French myself, I don’t find it to be true. Before you tax me with partiality and chauvinism, I’d like to add that I have lived in other countries and thus have a different insight into my own culture than my compatriots. I think the French way of being is very often misinterpreted – the French are a polite, friendly and welcoming people, they just express it in a different way!

France3After living abroad and discovered various cultures, I do see how it may be a bit confusing for a foreigner to come live in France. If you study the French language, then you know that we tend to be much more formal than English-speakers. What you probably think is pompous and cold, is actually how we show respect and politeness! As you surely know, we have a formal ‘you’, our formule de politesse (‘polite form’) – everything is in the name! It is certainly one of the most puzzling elements of the language for any English-speaker learning French.

So here’s a great and fun article to help you use it correctly : www.latimes.com

We talk to people in a different way depending on their age and the relationship we have with them. Yes, we do love etiquettes, but then again, being nice and friendly in France is to be polite and formal!

 

3. Greeting someone
France4
Now here’s another stereotype that is no myth. How can we be aloof and cold, when we give you a peck on the cheek to say hi? It may sound way too invasive and personal for our English and German neighbours, but kissing somebody on their cheeks actually feels like less of an intrusion of our personal space than a hug (too much contact!).

However, a few rules apply! Let me give you some valuable pieces of advice.

In a business or professional context, you obviously greets the person with a handshake (don’t go and give your boss a big kiss!). That being said, let’s get down to the more difficult stuff.

If you are a woman, you should always kiss the person you are introduced to on the cheek to greet him/her. Whether it’s a close friend, a member of your family or a complete stranger, it doesn’t matter!

If you are a man, it’s more tricky.
If you are introduced to a woman you have never met before or your aunt Frida, you kiss her on the cheeks.
If the person you are introduced to is a man, then you usually shake his hand.
However, it is acceptable to kiss another man on the cheeks if:
– he’s a child
– he’s a really (really) close friend
– he’s an older member of your family

Now that you know what to do, you should learn how to do it!
It’s always funny for us because we can usually tell whether someone is French by the way they cheek kiss. Obviously, all foreigners are unbelievably uncomfortable when it comes to kissing a stranger on the cheeks. But it’s also because they actually “kiss”, when we most often just “air kiss”. Your lips/cheek should just hardly brush the other person’s cheek.

Last but not least – how many kisses?

French-kissesYes, that is an issue. But you shouldn’t worry too much about it, because even French people can’t make up their minds. The number of cheek kisses you give varies from region to region. I think it is safe to say that 2 kisses is the standard. Then you just have to wait and see what happens!

Here’s a useful map if you’re planning a trip to France.

 

Margaux

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